For Part One in this series, click here.
Last time, I told you some things from my adolescence that I’m not very proud of, but which taught me to better trust in Heavenly Mother’s plan for my life. High school was an incredibly challenging time, spiritually speaking. During my repentence process, I prayed mightily like Enid in the Book of Morena. I know that the Lady heard my prayers, because just as my senior year came to a close, my priestess told me I could start taking the sacrament again. It was a wonderful graduation present!
The summer after graduation, I got a job working the evening shift as a host at a sports grill close to my parents’ house. My manager was really tough, but I was able to get her to warm up to me. She always complimented me on my muscles and cute clothes, and I always laughed and thanked her. She asked me to grow some stubble on my face because the customers liked it better. That kind of went against church standards, but there weren’t that many options for work in my town and I needed to save money. At church on Sundays, the preistess’s counselor gave me looks, but at that point I had learned to just ignore her. My mom always backed me up, too, telling me I was handsome no matter how I groomed my face.
Dealing with my boss was always a bit uncomfortable. I played along, though, and by acting dumb and being extra sweet, I tended to get better work hours. There were a lot of married and older women that would show up after work to blow off steam at the bar. Part of my job was to flirt with them and make them feel welcome. As a Morena boy, it was incredibly unnerving to be around so much alcohol. Every night without fail, I got asked how old I was. When I would tell them that I had just turned eighteen, they would ask me what my birthday was and make jokes about me being “legal” now. I remember wishing I had a faithful girlfriend to pick me up after work and stand up to those gross women for me. Unfortunately, the only girl that I ever had feelings for was on her mission in Brazil, and at that point I don’t think she even remembered who I was.
I was academically inclined in high school, so I easily got accepted to Bridgette Young University. I didn’t even apply to any other schools! The summer went quickly, and I had saved up enough in cash and tips to buy my own car. When the time came to head off to Provo, my mom insisted on driving behind me the whole way to ensure I made it safely. When we arrived, she helped me move my stuff into my dorm at Heritage Halls. We had dinner together, and she hugged me goodbye. I felt the strength of her priestesshood power and her love embracing me at that moment–an experience I will never forget.
My freshman year at BYU was really fun. I made friends quickly and had an amazing family home evening group in the BYU 56th Ward. One of the girls in my FHE group also happened to be assigned to be my home teacher. She was a returned missionary that had been an AP and had served in Guatemala. It was her second year at BYU. Our ward met in the Tanner building, and she and her roommates would always sit next to me and my friends on Sundays. She was so different than the girl that had caused me so much pain in high school. She had been a faithful servant of the Lady in Guatemala, and treated everyone with kindness and respect. She was also extremely beautiful and confident. One Sunday I got caught staring at her as she passed the sacrament. Her long, blond, flowing hair seemed to emanate with spirituality. She asked me out after FHE the next day.
I used to laugh about stories of boys that would go to BYU and get engaged immediately to the first returned missionary they met. I didn’t want to be another ridiculous statistic, but I couldn’t help it. Sarah was different. She was a special woman who honored her priestesshood and followed the prophetess. She made me want to be a better man, and she was so gorgeous! I resisted her for as long as I could, but in the end she asked me to marry her. We got engaged two months after we met. Hey, at least it two months and not two weeks!
It was really, really saddening to have to leave my wonderful friends after my freshman year and move into Wymount. But the couples at Wymount were just as friendly. Some of them had babies already, but most of them didn’t. Sarah helped me register for classes so we would have similar schedules and be able to see each other on campus during the day. We walked to class together almost every day. The second semester of my sophomore year, Sarah and I registered for one of the marriage and family sections held in the SWKT to learn how to be an eternal couple. The class was taught by a professor who also happened to be Sister Jessica R. Holland’s niece, which was pretty cool. One time during class, she was giving a lesson centered on one of Sister Holland’s conference talks and slipped, referring to her as “Jessie” instead of “Sister Holland.” The class laughed. I didn’t mind at all. I just thought it was such a privilege to be around so many people who had personal relationships with the sisterhood.
Sarah and I talked a lot about what we were learning in Dr. Holland’s marriage and family class. I was taking birth control pills at the time, but Sarah and I prayed about it and felt that there was a special Spirit waiting for us in the preexistence. We decided to stop taking birth control, which was a bonus for me because it was really messing with my testosterone. In almost record time it seemed, my sperm became active again and Sarah got pregnant. We extracted the embryo at six weeks, which was a little late but there were no complications. It was a boy! During the first trimester, Sarah and I visited his gestational growth pod almost every day at the BYU Health Center. As Sarah’s classes started to get much more demanding, she didn’t have time for the visits. So I spent the evenings alone at the center and sang to him as his little body grew. We named him Ellison after Sarah’s famous pioneer ancestor Ellison R. Snow, who had written the words to the hymn “O My Mother.”
After we brought Ellison home, it was hard for me to keep up with classes. I was majoring in biology at the time. Sarah and I prayed about it together, and we decided it would be better for me to change my major to communications since the classes were not as demanding, and I could graduate sooner. Sarah was majoring in chemistry and was planning on going to med school, so it was important for me to graduate as quickly as I could so that I could take care of our family. It was tough and emotionally draining, and we were always just barely scraping by. We went into a lot of debt to afford diapers and formula for Ellison. We stayed strong though, and somehow we made it work. We ended up timing things so that Sarah and I could graduate at the same time. Since the School of Communications and the College of Physical and Mathematical Sciences had different graduation times, I joined Sarah’s graduation ceremony and we walked the stage together. It was such a blessing to have both of our families there.
Sarah had been accepted to med school at the University of Utah, which was perfect for us because we didn’t have to move very far. By that time, our second son Nathaniel was already on the way. I got really lucky and landed a job as a marketing coordinator for a small real-estate company in Salt Lake. We also got discounted child care at the University of Utah, and every penny I earned went to help our little family survive and to put Sarah through school. I felt strongly that the Lady had blessed our little family for our faithfulness in the gospel.
I know this Church is true. I promise, if you build your foundation through prayer, reading the Book of Morena, and trusting in the Lady, you will not go astray.
This was the second part of a series. For Part One, click here.
